Domestic discipline in relationships

Domestic discipline, also known as DD, is a relationship style where one of the two consenting adults is the submissive, and the other is the dominant. For me, I would be the submissive, and my man would be the head of the household. He would be allowed and encouraged to punish and discipline me when I misbehave, for example, with spanking.

So let's get to know me... I will describe to you how my perfect Domestic Discipline relationship would look like, if it was up to me ;)

Spank me

By now, you might have realised that I truly enjoy being spanked. Whether it's in a playful manner, as a form of reward, as part of foreplay, or as a punishment for my actions. Though there are many different type of spankings, I enjoy the one with a reason the most.

When I'm bratty, misbehave, or genuinely messed something up - I like to be disciplined. I want to be put over a man's knee, with panties and pants down, spanked till it hurts. And then a little bit more, so I really realise I was bad.

Actually, since I have a somewhat (very) high pain tolerance, I would want someone to spank me hard and long. Ideally, over his knee first. After that with a belt, paddle, cane or something else heavy. Continuing with hand, different positions if needed, another implement and ending OTK with hand once more. That way it will really hurt. I don't really need a break in between the spankings, I want my man to just hold me still and punish me. He shouldn't have to ask me what I want, he has to decide what I need. It will hurt, I will struggle, but if I deserved it, that's the only way I learn. I need to end up bruised and sore occasionally. To make it even better, he could include a good lecture before or in between. I love it when he makes me say 'Yes, Sir' or 'No, Sir' too, especially since I don't naturally say that. I will only say that when it really hurts and he deserved it, because when it hurts; I will start to respect my man.

And yes, when the situation ask for it, I don't mind a face slap either.

Humiliate me

Outside of the 'normal' spanking, I like it a bit embarrassing and humiliating. I like it if he'd put me in the corner, all nude, or even make me spread and present myself to him. Or another thing that has been a lot on my mind lately is a severe caning. But not just like any. First on my butt cheeks, and then I wish for my man to let me present myself. Ass up, face down. All nude. Then I want him to cane me between my cheeks, punish my private parts. This is just so incredibly humiliating to me, since it's such an exposed pose. I'm intrigued by it, and it will definitely hurt... But hey, that's the key to my heart ;)

Outside of impact 'play', a man can and should -with my consent - humiliate me. Threaten me, put me in the corner and ground me like a little girl. He should tell me I can't go out because I did x or y (always within reason, of course). It would make me feel cared for.

Tell me what to do

Other things I'd love within a relationship are strict rules. For example, spending limits for me regarding shopping, specific rules about how I talk to him, etc. Let's say I spend twenty dollars over budget, that would get me twenty strokes with the paddle or cane. Another example would be in case I'd be late. Let's say I'm five minutes late, I'd like him to let me stand in the corner for five minutes or cane me 5 (or 50) times. That way I would really learn to follow and live by his rules, and that's very hot to me.

I like for my man to really make me feel his. If I tell him I did something bad, I want him to tell me I did bad. That I deserved to be punished by his hand. A message explaining what he would do to me, or if he's busy a 'I will deal with you later' is perfection. But even the more judging type of message are just everything.

Let me explain the 'judging' message with an example. Imagine, I went to do something I shouldn't have during the boss his time. I will tell my man that I wasn't working and was doing x instead. I want him to judge me for that, tell me that it was wrong, and how he would punish me. It's hard to explain, but those little things make me feel wanted and cared for.

Be old-fashioned

I'm an independent girl. I travel a lot alone, built up everything I have myself, earned every penny I own, and like to pay for my own expenses. I have an interesting sense of pride in me, especially for a submissive girl. I really had to get used to the fact that the man would pay for my dinner on a date, for example. But I've learned to respect and actually enjoy that. It shows that the man is somewhat old-fashioned - which is very attractive to me. Not too long ago a man I was with held the door of the Uber for me, and then got in himself through the other side. Believe it or not, but that's very rare to find these days, yet so incredibly attractive.

Even though I will always make the important life-impacting decisions myself, I do like my man to have a bit more control over me than in a considered normal relationship. For example, it won't be uncommon for me to let him order for me in a restaurant. Especially when there are a lot of choices and I know he will pay, I will find it very difficult to order something myself. I would always go for the cheapest I can find, due to my pride - I don't want him to spend on me. I mean, I do, but I don't. So to avoid that internal struggle, I will ask my man to choose for me. It's actually sexy to me if he does. Sometimes I will choose myself though, if I feel like x or y, or if there aren't too many options. Yet I will tell him what I want, and hope he will order for me so I don't have to speak to the waiter myself. It makes me feel cared for. Same for a drink afterwards, I personally barely drink. I have never been tipsy or drunk; I have self-discipline. But when I do decide to have one drink (I never drink more than one drink a night), I will ask him to choose it for me. I find it sexy when he makes such choices for me. It's so attractive. And I realise that's not the most common thing to find attractive, but I learned to love my little weird tweaks like that. And I hope that my future man will love them about me too.

Let me take care of you

For some reason, I have a strong desire to love and trust a man completely, to be fully committed to him. I truly want a man to take ownership of me - within certain boundaries. I want a man to assert his dominance over me. But... I'm not helpless, I will make the important life-changing decisions myself. I will let him know what I want to do - if there's something I want to do. And I will want to take care of my man too.

For example, when we go on a trip together, I will probably plan it all out for us. I will find a good hotel, find things to do, and plan and book it all (after approval/knowing his wishes). That, to me, isn't dominance; it's being of service to my man, giving him a good time. And I'm confident in that as well. I've traveled my fair share, I know how to book a good holiday, I can be 'a tour guide,' and I would love to take the stress of booking and finding what to do off him, and give him the best relaxing time possible.

Outside of planning a holiday, I want to take care of my man in every other way in my power. When I'm into someone (or in a relationship); I love to touch, I love to massage his body, hold his arm or hand when we go somewhere, be emotionally available, be there for him when he needs me or simply wants to talk. And I love to get him something he wants or needs; from the store or even just the kitchen. Besides I love to give little (hopefully seen as) thoughtful presents. That just makes me happy.

I love to be of service, and when I am - I feel useful and fulfilled.

Conclusion

This blog ended up being more of a summary of multiple situations that would be perfect for me than anything else. But I hope it sketches a good idea of what I would love within a (DD) relationship. I want him to punish me, discipline me, humiliate me, and be in charge of me; in return, I will love him, make him feel loved, care for him, and hopefully be of service to him too.

I want to take care of my man, and I want him to take care of me - in every way.