As long as I can remember, I’ve had this spanking fetish. When I was little, even before I played with myself, I had these ‘wrong’ dreams and thoughts. I classified them as wrong myself since I thought they were somewhat different. (Why did I think that? Mostly because during history class, I was taught that (physical) ‘punishments’ are something to avoid, not to like.) These were thoughts where someone would bend me over and spank me. I also had another thought where I was on my knees on an assembly line, going through multiple machines that would spank me. I'm not sure how my fantasy came up with that one, but I can still remember it very well. I think it was a way for me to hide it in a certain way, or to try to not make it sexual.
When I got my first personal computer, around the age of 12, I started googling. I honestly had no idea what to call it, because it’s not like my school taught me about different types of fetishes. But to be quite honest here, I barely found any information about this topic - apart from a few posts or old-fashioned pictures. I started to believe my fetish was ‘weird’ because of that, and tried to avoid thinking about it. Yet I couldn't really stop; I was curious about why I felt the way I did.
After a few months of exploring the internet, I found sites to chat with strangers, mostly way older guys, I must add. As a young, curious, and naive girl, I started chatting with them.
I had been educated not to share private information or send pictures, but I didn’t see the harm in chatting. So here I was, a 12/13-year-old, talking with boys and men around maybe 40? Oh well, let’s not think about that for now. Either way, I started to find out quite quickly during the conversations if they were guys and if they wanted something more. The moment I noticed that, I started to become very annoying and challenge them. (In spanking terms: I started being a brat - without knowing that was a thing). And after a few conversations I had a guy tell me that he would put me over his knee and spank my ass. I had to google that word which changed my life forever. I finally knew what to call it and I just couldn’t stop wanting it. I found my first spanking videos, spanking stories (which I enjoyed more than the videos) and I started doing research on it.
I've learned it was just sexual for some, a way of relief for others, and a lifestyle for the most. I fall under the category of wanting it to be my lifestyle.
How did you find out that spanking was a fetish and something enjoyable as well?
My next post will be about my first experiences of getting spanked with exes and finding out more about this lifestyle, stay tuned!
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